Mistake
took you by the road side
red-beat, took me
straight off my feet
that one steely night
when your stuttering embrace
went broken-skinned
I felt you kiss me
sweet, sweet man
you
you stole from me
in a nit-bit took my hand
and into it whispered, forever
you said get, set, go
and my stubble heart took
saccharine swings
no longer had I to wait
all on my own
but your head and tail vision now
like a tangled lie, stumbles out
from somewhere behind
and your tinctured promise
skitters past remnants
of fractal gods
staring upon
my one time prince that you made
the pauper
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Categories: Poems
The diction in this poem is superior because it is inherently related to the thought. Economy of language plays a wonderful role as does the careful selection of each word, each phrase. In short, this poem was a poetic and sensory delight. The anger towards the end resonates loud and clear, and phrases like “saccharine swings,” “tangled lie,” “tinctured promise,” and “fractal gods” make the poem extremely powerful. I am very impressed with your selection of adjectives. Your talent has never spoken louder than it does in this poem. Bravo.