RIL is dedicated to promoting budding authors, poets and writers.

Mistake

31. Jul, 2008

took you by the road side
red-beat, took me
straight off my feet
that one steely night
when your stuttering embrace
went broken-skinned
I felt you kiss me
sweet, sweet man
you
you stole from me
in a nit-bit took my hand
and into it whispered, forever
you said get, set, go
and my stubble heart took
saccharine swings
no longer had I to wait
all on my own
but your head and tail vision now
like a tangled lie, stumbles out
from somewhere behind
and your tinctured promise
skitters past remnants
of fractal gods
staring upon
my one time prince that you made
the pauper

Bookmark and Share:
Categories: Poems

One Response to “Mistake”

  1. Noor-ul-ain Noor 31. Jul, 2008

    The diction in this poem is superior because it is inherently related to the thought. Economy of language plays a wonderful role as does the careful selection of each word, each phrase. In short, this poem was a poetic and sensory delight. The anger towards the end resonates loud and clear, and phrases like “saccharine swings,” “tangled lie,” “tinctured promise,” and “fractal gods” make the poem extremely powerful. I am very impressed with your selection of adjectives. Your talent has never spoken louder than it does in this poem. Bravo.


Leave a Reply

*
To prove you're a person (not a spam script), type the security word shown in the picture. Click on the picture to hear an audio file of the word.
Click to hear an audio file of the anti-spam word