Dorito Dubs
As I hid behind a random Newsweek issue pretending to read so that I would not have to make small talk with my uncle and his kids, I came across an article about this painter (whose name I do not remember now, it was something very similar to dorito.) I read the article, it wasn’t very impressive. He had started as a young broke man, passionate and unknown. Now he was 70-something and enjoying a lavish life. I did not even like his work. It was a cartoon-ish kind of a painting style, used to represent every issue on earth, from nursery rhymes to something as grave as issues in Abu Gharib. The article said that that was what had made him so famous, the unorthodox style used to represent serious issues too. It did not appeal to my sensibility though. It reminded me of Addicted to War, a comic book we read that was about all the wars, with their reasons (excuses) and death-counts that America has waged. I remember some students said it worked, at least it spread awareness in a manner that people might read. If it were written as a newspaper article or history-book style, no one would bother reading. But many of us felt very uncomfortable with it, it seemed to make a very serious issue very petty.
That leads me on to a discussion of what really is comic and what isn’t. But that is a discussion for another day. Today, I just want to say that war is not comic, no matter if the world is crushed under terminal paradoxes and everything loses its meaning and right is flipped inside out to become wrong or black is bleached to become white. Death, disease, war; these things are never funny.
Anyway, even though I did not like that dorito person, there was a line in that article that really got me thinking. That artist said that he seriously started painting at the age of 17 and had painted everyday ever since. Even if he’s not producing something that appeals to me, there are thousands out there who like him. Everyday, every single day of his life. I thought about myself and how I’m satisfied with writing something once in a while. I dream about being a writer. I sometimes even let myself feel like I have what it takes. But writing everyday, mustering up that creativity, finding that inspiration, taking out that time! I can never do it. Even if I write crap, I can’t write it everyday.
And that brings me to question myself and my so-called ambition to be a writer. The dorito artist knew at 17 that he would be a painter, I’m still unsure about what I really want to be. I love writing but I don’t write very often. What kind of a writer feels like that? Do I even love it? Or am I only loving the idea of loving it?
It also comes as a shock when I tell people I do not like reading. I don’t detest it but I’m not really drawn towards it either. To me, finishing a book is such a long process that I feel I can do better things in that time. I can even count the number of novels I have read in my lifetime; they are so little in number. So I always ask myself, can anyone be a good writer if he/she is not an avid reader? No one has really answered that ever and I fear a negative response, so even if you do think I can’t be a writer because I don’t read, do not say so.
Sometimes I feel I’m only dubbing over a very ordinary ambition, or maybe none at all, by wanting to be a writer. And then, after writing such posts, I wonder at the huge amount of literature written by young wanna-be writers like us about how they cannot write. If only, instead of this, I would write something worthwhile.
You are a writer. We cannot fit ourselves into one factory manufactured package. We’re all different. I know a lot of writers who don’t particularly enjoy reading, and a lot of avid readers who can’t write worth a dime. It’s a gradual process. I call it coming into your own power. You’ll get there one day. A point where writing everyday is as natural as waking up in the morning and drinking a cup of chai.
Sidra,
wow. you have spoken my thoughts exactly. so yeah, this entry is pretty close to me. Reading into this website also worries me. People write so so much more than I can and than I ever will as I see it which has also made me question my love for writing. There is no question of talent in your case. Noor is absolutely right. You are a writer.
As for reading, Noor is again right. Nobody can fit into a manufactured packaged. Yes, there are common things that surround the lives of all writers (being intensive reading and writing) but we should not set them as conventions. Reading, helps yes it helps alot in fleshing out various writing styles, finding your voice, guiding you along the writing process, but reading also hinders your writing skills at times-set limits and conventions. In your case, therefore it amazing you read so less and write so wonderfully. It really proves your writing is fresh and original and uncolored by influences.
As for the amount of writing, its pretty obvious, quanitity of works cannot measure your passion. If you have it, its there.There are artists who produce rarely two works in an entire year (haha – i could easily fall in there) But one thing is for sure, there is no way to get better at writing than writing itself and the maturity in your pieces (judging from first and second year creative writing pieces) is undeniable.
I’d look at it this way…a person who never reads a book in his/her life and then goes on to write a book…
That book would be the most original book ever written ever since the very first book that was written and lost in the tides of time.
The more I read (and I read as much as I can), the more I feel I am (un)intentionally trying to mimic someone’s writing style. At other times I write about what came out in my head from something I read.
So my lady, I feel you have a chance to be the phoenix among us crows and vultures. And don’t not the vultures, they’re a great and noble animal!
Ah, it would be so easy for me to say “I agree with everyone above”
and I am tempted to.
BUT! I want to add…
You cant not be a writer. You are writing, expressing, creating. You may not get published, or become famous, or…you know, get the whole “I was ambitious about it and then made millions with my talent” deal… but that does not erase that fact that you *are* a writer.
Sidra Nadeem, you ppl r havin so much fun here that im feelin quite jealous n left out!! N i feel lik i cant catch up!