Comments on: Absolute http://www.readitlive.com/2008/06/04/absolute/ dedicated to promoting budding poets, writers and bloggers Thu, 02 Feb 2012 20:10:04 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.4 By: home owner insurance rate quote http://www.readitlive.com/2008/06/04/absolute/comment-page-1/#comment-5198 home owner insurance rate quote Mon, 01 Sep 2008 07:17:16 +0000 http://www.readitlive.com/2008/06/04/absolute/#comment-5198 <strong>home owner insurance rate quote...</strong> Stetson anaplasmosis Corinthianize,gamble?flexibilities ... home owner insurance rate quote…

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]]> By: Sidra Nadeem http://www.readitlive.com/2008/06/04/absolute/comment-page-1/#comment-3304 Sidra Nadeem Wed, 11 Jun 2008 15:25:18 +0000 http://www.readitlive.com/2008/06/04/absolute/#comment-3304 Lol, yes Noor, it is kind of a code language. :D It basically says she liked the story, lol. Thankyou for the comment Fraz, I'm really sorry for the delay in its showing up. The spam settings tag any comment that has a link in it as 'spam' so I have to manually approve it. My apologies again. Lol, yes Noor, it is kind of a code language. :D It basically says she liked the story, lol.

Thankyou for the comment Fraz, I’m really sorry for the delay in its showing up. The spam settings tag any comment that has a link in it as ‘spam’ so I have to manually approve it. My apologies again.

]]> By: Noor http://www.readitlive.com/2008/06/04/absolute/comment-page-1/#comment-3295 Noor Wed, 11 Jun 2008 07:38:47 +0000 http://www.readitlive.com/2008/06/04/absolute/#comment-3295 What does her comment say? I am completely confused. Is it a code language? What does her comment say? I am completely confused. Is it a code language?

]]> By: Sidra Nadeem http://www.readitlive.com/2008/06/04/absolute/comment-page-1/#comment-3294 Sidra Nadeem Wed, 11 Jun 2008 06:58:53 +0000 http://www.readitlive.com/2008/06/04/absolute/#comment-3294 oh wow! Sarosh visited Read It Live! What an honour for my story :) oh wow! Sarosh visited Read It Live! What an honour for my story :)

]]> By: sarosh http://www.readitlive.com/2008/06/04/absolute/comment-page-1/#comment-3293 sarosh Wed, 11 Jun 2008 06:21:33 +0000 http://www.readitlive.com/2008/06/04/absolute/#comment-3293 wah tt cha gaya winta bota yara aik to kundera or watever bohat hi cool lag raha hey apparently inspired both u and sana good cheeti wohi mein kahon tt to nazar nahi aa rahi kundeera hi hey nahi yar i really liked the story stm was right sir sey tum ney kafi kuch seekha wah tt cha gaya winta bota yara aik to kundera or watever bohat hi cool lag raha hey apparently inspired both u and sana good cheeti wohi mein kahon tt to nazar nahi aa rahi kundeera hi hey nahi yar i really liked the story stm was right sir sey tum ney kafi kuch seekha

]]> By: Sidra Nadeem http://www.readitlive.com/2008/06/04/absolute/comment-page-1/#comment-3282 Sidra Nadeem Tue, 10 Jun 2008 08:02:15 +0000 http://www.readitlive.com/2008/06/04/absolute/#comment-3282 Thankyou Noor and Usman and Husnain, the piece definitely needs editing, its the first draft I submitted in my worshop too. Thankyou all for the feedback. : ) Thankyou Noor and Usman and Husnain, the piece definitely needs editing, its the first draft I submitted in my worshop too.
Thankyou all for the feedback. : )

]]> By: hasnain akram http://www.readitlive.com/2008/06/04/absolute/comment-page-1/#comment-3280 hasnain akram Mon, 09 Jun 2008 23:46:26 +0000 http://www.readitlive.com/2008/06/04/absolute/#comment-3280 This was really good, Sidra. A variation of your usual style - I like the surreal, analogy-filled prose. There was some repetition of words, such as "drops" in the 2nd paragraph, which an edit can fix quite easily. Also, I noticed that the voice of the cousin and the voice of the narrator were almost the same, if you get what I mean. They had the same outlook, the same lens to look through. Maybe that's what you wanted, maybe that ties the piece together more, but just an observation. Other than that, for its length, I think it accomplished what it set out to. This was really good, Sidra. A variation of your usual style – I like the surreal, analogy-filled prose. There was some repetition of words, such as “drops” in the 2nd paragraph, which an edit can fix quite easily. Also, I noticed that the voice of the cousin and the voice of the narrator were almost the same, if you get what I mean. They had the same outlook, the same lens to look through. Maybe that’s what you wanted, maybe that ties the piece together more, but just an observation.

Other than that, for its length, I think it accomplished what it set out to.

]]> By: Fraz A. Nayyar http://www.readitlive.com/2008/06/04/absolute/comment-page-1/#comment-3277 Fraz A. Nayyar Mon, 09 Jun 2008 16:23:28 +0000 http://www.readitlive.com/2008/06/04/absolute/#comment-3277 I actually like the fact that I remained a little impartial to the character, as her plight was supposed to be very ordinary, as it happens to so many (rather most) around us. And then when you think of it, it is just to tragic that it can leave you paralyzed. When the article began, it felt like something out of Asimov's Nightfall, and then it went into the 'real' matter, and when it returned to the beginning at the end, it was completely different this time. Every drop had a new meaning and resonance. This reminded me a little of Auden's Unknown Citizen. It sparked the same kind of an emotion in me. (http://www.cs.rice.edu/~ssiyer/minstrels/poems/386.html). To end, the beauty of Van Gough's art wasn't the Raphialian perfection, but the absence of it, and all the countless imperfections. I actually like the fact that I remained a little impartial to the character, as her plight was supposed to be very ordinary, as it happens to so many (rather most) around us. And then when you think of it, it is just to tragic that it can leave you paralyzed.

When the article began, it felt like something out of Asimov’s Nightfall, and then it went into the ‘real’ matter, and when it returned to the beginning at the end, it was completely different this time. Every drop had a new meaning and resonance.

This reminded me a little of Auden’s Unknown Citizen. It sparked the same kind of an emotion in me. (http://www.cs.rice.edu/~ssiyer/minstrels/poems/386.html).

To end, the beauty of Van Gough’s art wasn’t the Raphialian perfection, but the absence of it, and all the countless imperfections.

]]> By: Usman http://www.readitlive.com/2008/06/04/absolute/comment-page-1/#comment-3260 Usman Fri, 06 Jun 2008 16:38:28 +0000 http://www.readitlive.com/2008/06/04/absolute/#comment-3260 I dont know anything abt diff writing styles anymore, but I will say this. This is good. The only thing that bugged me was the events weren't happening as coherently as needed. There was this element of chaos to this, but I guess if the protagonist is thinking and whirling in her thoughts, this would be style choice then. 8/10 I dont know anything abt diff writing styles anymore, but I will say this. This is good.

The only thing that bugged me was the events weren’t happening as coherently as needed. There was this element of chaos to this, but I guess if the protagonist is thinking and whirling in her thoughts, this would be style choice then.

8/10

]]> By: Noor http://www.readitlive.com/2008/06/04/absolute/comment-page-1/#comment-3255 Noor Fri, 06 Jun 2008 08:16:11 +0000 http://www.readitlive.com/2008/06/04/absolute/#comment-3255 Sounds like Hemingway. He is also a minimalist. Some say Raymond Carver is also sort of a minimalist. I like Carver. Not so much Hemingway. I think you have appropriately imitated the style. It is not a style I generally prefer. As you have noticed, I am wordy enough to almost always get myself in trouble. Wordiness is not a talent. It is a flaw. Sad but true. And yes, I loved the title. Screw the workshop people. Noor Sounds like Hemingway. He is also a minimalist. Some say Raymond Carver is also sort of a minimalist. I like Carver. Not so much Hemingway. I think you have appropriately imitated the style. It is not a style I generally prefer. As you have noticed, I am wordy enough to almost always get myself in trouble. Wordiness is not a talent. It is a flaw. Sad but true.

And yes, I loved the title. Screw the workshop people.

Noor

]]> By: Sidra Nadeem http://www.readitlive.com/2008/06/04/absolute/comment-page-1/#comment-3254 Sidra Nadeem Fri, 06 Jun 2008 08:11:54 +0000 http://www.readitlive.com/2008/06/04/absolute/#comment-3254 Noor, I've tried a diferent style of writing here. Have you read Milan Kundera? We read him this semester, as a theorist and a novelist and he has this way of writing with 'radical divestment.' No extra padding, just the events and only the important parts of it. The only word that has a right to exist is the word that adds something to the piece. I tried to write without the padding and you can argue, it has been argued about this style of writing, that it doesnt make the reader connect with the characters, they aren't 'alive' enough. But according to Kundera, the 'alive-ness' (for want of a better world, lol) is measured by the author and reader engaging with a character's existential dilemma, not the amount of details given about the character. Thankyou for the feedback. You thought the title was good? That's the only thing the workshop people unanimously decided didn't work for the piece. lol. Noor, I’ve tried a diferent style of writing here. Have you read Milan Kundera? We read him this semester, as a theorist and a novelist and he has this way of writing with ‘radical divestment.’ No extra padding, just the events and only the important parts of it. The only word that has a right to exist is the word that adds something to the piece. I tried to write without the padding and you can argue, it has been argued about this style of writing, that it doesnt make the reader connect with the characters, they aren’t ‘alive’ enough. But according to Kundera, the ‘alive-ness’ (for want of a better world, lol) is measured by the author and reader engaging with a character’s existential dilemma, not the amount of details given about the character.

Thankyou for the feedback. You thought the title was good? That’s the only thing the workshop people unanimously decided didn’t work for the piece. lol.

]]> By: Noor http://www.readitlive.com/2008/06/04/absolute/comment-page-1/#comment-3242 Noor Wed, 04 Jun 2008 18:23:04 +0000 http://www.readitlive.com/2008/06/04/absolute/#comment-3242 You create the image of hopelessness. It's well thought out. The prose is mature and elegant. However, you have given me a thin layer of the protagonist. You have not given me enough to have the sympathy that she deserves. You have mentioned everything transparently. There is very little substance. The cousin, the brother, they are not helping. If you are going for abstract, keep the characters as abstract and as absent as possible. Too many events in too little space. Flesh it out a bit. Good title. Noor You create the image of hopelessness. It’s well thought out. The prose is mature and elegant. However, you have given me a thin layer of the protagonist. You have not given me enough to have the sympathy that she deserves. You have mentioned everything transparently. There is very little substance. The cousin, the brother, they are not helping. If you are going for abstract, keep the characters as abstract and as absent as possible. Too many events in too little space. Flesh it out a bit. Good title.

Noor

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