Questions of Love and Faith
Questions of Love and Faith
You sleep with
The man you love,
The man who loves you.
This is not a love of flesh, you say.
Yes, he says, it is an ancient thing,
It is a love of spirits and souls,
It is that kind of love,
The kind that makes us human.
He deserts you
Every Friday afternoon
To go to his mosque
And pray to his God.
Then you give yourself to him
Unquestioningly
On his Muslim bed
With Arabic calligraphy
Staring at you from the wall -
Arabic that you were never
Taught to read.
Woman,
Sister,
Friend,
Harmless creature,
Your heart is pure
And his faith intact.
Yet, they close their eyes
And call you an infidel,
And him a sinner.
How could his God, my God,
Any God
Punish this beautiful ancient thing
Captured by you and him?
Why are you two
Blasphemous for each other?
Asteghfirullah!!
That’s your first comment
Well, that’s an expression, not a comment on the piece. But thank you for commenting and welcome to RIL.
Dear RILers,
I am somewhat concerned about the above comment from Moulvi Qasim. Qasim, you are definitely entitled to your opinion, but I would like to clarify my standpoint as a poet. I understand that some people may take offense to the questions presented in the poem, but please understand that these are not just vital theological questions that people struggle with, but also matters of senses, emotions, and possibly psychological turmoil. These questions have bothered me for a while now after I saw a Muslim acquaintance living with a woman of another faith. I have since befriended the woman, and have seen that their relationship is sincere and they are very obviously in love with each other. The question that kept resurfacing in my mind as a poet first, a human second, and a Muslim third, is that if they are not causing harm to anyone except the sensibilities of certain people (including myself – I was perturbed by their cohabitation in the beginning; before I knew them as friends and more importantly as people) then why must they be punished? Why must they be branded as sinners, shunned from their respective communities? I am trying to make sense of my feelings and questions by writing this. I am confident that most of you will take it as an honest creative effort to organize my feelings, which is what a poet (or a writer) does. This is why we write. However, if this is offensive to anyone, I do ask you to please know that my intention was not to encourage or discourage such a living arrangement. It was to understand my own feelings, and get them out on paper. To say that my feelings are completely sorted out about this matter would be a lie. We always struggle with questions, and sometimes it takes a while to reach resolution.
Thank you.
Noor
The poem makes sense after the explanation of the context it was written in. Befoer that, I read it once and didn’t really know what to think of it. The thing is, I think everything in the world is about sensibilities and emotions but above all, its about Allah’s Will. If those two people you know are sincere and really in love, why do they not marry? The thing is, if something is against Allah’s will, we might not understand HOW something so innocent could be termed wrong, how two people so sincerely in love could be blasphemous for each other. But the truth is, there must be something about such relationships that is not good for both of them, something that Allah knows and understands and perhaps would show in time, but humans don’t.
Love is a sacred emotion revered by Allah too, just that it needs to be channeled through a proper medium.
Sidra, you have a strong conviction, and I understand it, but I don’t think we stand to pass judgments. I don’t think I can go and ask them why they are not marrying. To be very honest, if marriages were not a part of my religion and my cultural and traditional upbringing, I would not have been the sort to marry. I respect people with all kinds of religious and social beliefs, but I don’t judge the ones that are bothersome to my sensibilities because I don’t think everyone has to agree with what I believe in. Islam says that they are wrong. You say they are acting against Allah’s will. But the fact of the matter is that they are not causing direct harm to anyone, so why are we passing judgments? I don’t think we are on that platform, you know? I am glad that you are such a strong believer and your faith does not allow you to even entertain the idea of a question regarding faith, but unfortunately, my mind presents me with these questions everyday, and I feel it is my duty to explore them, not only as a poet, but also as a woman of faith. How would we learn if we stop asking questions, delving deep, searching for explanations? Why should I be expected to take everything on face value and faith? I have a very strong and spiritual relationship with Allah. At least I would like to think so, but many people of my faith would not think twice before passing judgment on the way I practice my religion. Herein lies the problem. It is not for us to proclaim something or someone is blasphemous; it is for Allah to decide. We can merely channel our own faith to a certain degree in order to be good human beings. This is why I have asked the aforementioned questions. This and the fact that I have no Muslim friends at the moment. Only acquaintances. All of my friends are non-Muslims, some even atheists, and they are all wonderful people. A person’s faith does not define or contain him. We are all humans first. We must remember that. If we had no knowledge of being human, we would not identify with any faith, we would not possess any convictions, we would not be enlightened. Therefore, we must respect all people, all humans, regardless of faith. That is my conviction. Like I always say, to each his own.
And again, I MUST write what I feel even if some one takes offense to it. My primary objective as a poet is to ask, explore, answer, and if my vision is offensive to someone, I will not be apologetic about it. It is what I see and the way I see it. I will ask people to please look beyond and be patient with the practices and beliefs of others. You don’t have to agree with it, but you don’t have to dismiss it either. I am not asking for support, agreement, or praise; all I am asking is for people to read and be willing to see things from another perspective. It is really not so bad – the view from the other side. Again, you don’t have to appreciate it, just be willing to look at it. A strong faith allows you to see things in different lights and still find your way home.
My intention was not to offend, only to ask questions. And so I did.
Thank you for offering a place where different creative and theological conceptions, perceptions, and ideas are entertained.
Noor
“It is reported in Muslim’s Sahih that the Messenger of God said,”God is beautiful and He loves beauty”. It is God Who made the world and endowed it with existence. The entire universe is therefore supremely beautiful. There is nothing ugly in it. On the contrary, in it God has brought together all perfection and all beauty…The gnostics see it being nothing other than the form of the Divine Reality…for God is He who is epiphanized in every face, He to whom every sign refers back, He upon Whom all eyes rest, HE WHO IS WORSHIPPED IN EVERY OBJECT OF WORSHIP…. The whole universe offers its prayers to Him, falls down before Him and signs His praises. All tongues speak of Him alone, and Him alone all hearts desire…if it were not so, no prophet and no Messenger would have ever loved woman or child.”
Ibn Arabi, al-fatuhat-al-makkiya
——-
Perfect conviction without knowing God’s Face is arrogance. IMHO
And what did you think of the poem and the questions, Usman?
I have found that people who delve it to such matters turn into some of the strongest Muslims you will find, why because they are not blind believers, and through effort, praying and search they come to the truthfulness of Islam. A perfect example is Iqbal the Poet, he had some serious questions about Islam, the questions themselves would confuse most people let alone the answers. Once they were answered by Allama Shah Anwar Kashmiri, he became convinced of the greatness of our faith. Questions are not wrong in themselves, but my dear, I think you need to make more of an effort to find the answers.
I’ll take issue with you when you say, “is that if they are not causing harm to anyone except the sensibilities of certain people”
Why well for a few reasons:
1) Let’s say these people are Muslim, what right do they have to put their future children into a situation where they will be looked down upon by society. How will her son be able to love his mother fully when he has preserved his chastity while she could not because of love? Don’t get me wrong, love is important, but people stick together for many reasons. What right does a person have to hurt their father, mother, sister, brother etc? We should not be selfish, think about others.
2) Here in the UK there were killings of a few prostitutes. I don’t look down upon them, I feel sorry for them. One former prostitute commented because many were saying “what’s wrong with it, it’s between two consenting adults even if money is exchanged is it not?” One former prostitute replied by saying that people cannot estimate the damage this does on a women, emotionally, physically, psychologically (almost gave up trying to spell this word), that you only come to realise later and you can’t have a normal relationship. Why because Noor-ul-Ain, your Creator knows you better then anybody else, He knows what’s good for you and what’s not. Prostitution was not allowed for women, nor was relations outside marriage, there is wisdom in it.
3) Their actions belittles marriage. See Noor-ul-Ain, when I took my wife’s hand in marriage, I kept before me that she was a trust from Allah firstly. In my interactions with her, I remember Allah. I remember Allah is watching my conduct with her when no one else is. Find a translation of the nikah ceremony, over and over again it says Fear Allah, Fear Allah, why because it is in Allah’s name you have come together.
4) Guys love not making a commitment, use and abuse, marriage in Islam is part worship part contract, in fact somewhere in between. Women are not to be used, I think they deserve more. If you love her commit to her, honour her and prove that commitment through marriage.
5) Marriage is more ancient than love, Adam (may peace be on him) was married first, the love came later.
“Arabic that you were never taught to read.” Depends where you were taught, should not generalise. Even in your comments I think you generalise too much, you can’t brush everybody with the same brush. Plus zina is a sin; it’s not something that makes you a kafir unless you consider it permissible. I can answer some of the questions you pose in your poem, but cannot do it here, please give me your e-mail address, I’ll send you some things I’m sure you will find useful.
Nobody will deny that these are wonderful people, but they have a weakness which needs to be addressed. You’re taking the wrong lesson from these people, if you think they are so much better than you then it should eat at you that why did Allah bless me with guidance and not them? That concern, that longing will make you a better Muslim and will make you not judge others.
My dear sister, with so much going on in the world, we need stable households and marriage is key to that. In marriage you have rights and responsibilities towards each other and to others such as your future children, if you make love simply the defining thing to be together, then love will come and go but Allah will always be there so that you reach your final destination, jannah wherein there will be no sorry and where you can rest, we just need to make more effort and be patient, won’t be long.
Dear Cha Drinking Khan,
Thank you for your comment and interest. At this point, I would like to reiterate one more time that I am not encouraging or discouraging said couple’s cohabitation. I simply see that it is harmless to ME. If they are sinning against God, they will answer to HIM. It is not up to me to decide that they are sinners. I am not learning from them. I am not following in their footsteps. I am not becoming more like them, and I am definitely not applauding them for anything. This seems to be the most natural thing in the world for them – they are not looking for praise. By the same token, I am not going to look down upon them or call them sinners. Again, it is not for me to decide. The only thing I am doing here is observing and expressing my own feelings about it. And the fact that my feelings are creating so much attention, most of it in one way or another, even if mildly put is judgmental, makes me think that they are right in keeping a low profile.
A general comment to everyone: I think it was a mistake to use this website as an avenue to present something unconventional, something that challenges our accepted norms (religious or otherwise). Think about it. How many people have actually commented on the poem? And how many people have taken this opportunity to tell me that they way I think is flawed and my friends are in fact sinners? Almost everyone, right? This is not why this poem was written. It was actually to paint them in a human light. It was to not have religious debate. I am not well-versed in religion to quote scripture, but I know that my faith is strong. I think it is best if I remove this poem from here. I have posted and read it at other places and have received critique on the poem, rather than on my friends’ lifestyles.
I know we all strive to find heaven, but we must all find our own way.
Controversial topics naturally attract strong responses since people strongly feel about such issues and have well established opinions about them.
You saw something in a society that you have been a part of for quite some time now. It is natural that it would raise questions and you as a writer and poet expressed them. Thank you for sharing this piece with us.
Now with regards to your piece it is good but I believe you have written better. In my opinion the best stanza of this poem was
He deserts you
Every Friday afternoon
To go to his mosque
And pray to his God.
Then you give yourself to him
Unquestioningly
On his Muslim bed
With Arabic calligraphy
Staring at you from the wall -
Arabic that you were never
Taught to read.
When I read the poem I felt it was too short and ended suddenly. Perhaps you can add more stanzas such as the one above which very vividly captures what goes on in their daily lives.
Oh and I would appreciate and request that if possible please do not take down this piece
I love the duality of your poem Noor. You’re mixing two disjoint spheres together into one in the poem, and purely from an artistic point of view, it creates a very visual atmosphere.
This is an interesting topic, so I’ll offer my opinions also. I agree with your belief that we cannot label anybody a sinner. We do not have visibility into the thoughts and intentions of anybody. When doing any such auditing regarding the merits of deeds, our focus should be on ourselves, not on people around us. Sins and virtues, if anything, are an equilibrium, and unless you know the magnitudes of both sides, you can’t judge. And you’ll never know both sides of another person – it’s just not possible. Only Allah knows.
So, to wrap up. Do I think cohabitation is a sin? Yes. Allah has said it is, and I can think of arguments against it also. But lying is a sin too. For that matter, so is snoozing on the job (not that I do it…ahem.) But would I judge anybody who does it? No – that would be wrong. Only Allah can.
I also do not want you to take down the poem, I don’t think it’s wrong to ask such questions expressed through poetry but when people want to comment you should not see it as an attack. I think Noor-ul-ain, from all the posts even the first one, no one was telling you that your thinking was flawed, in fact I’m a bit upset that you felt that from my post.
I never knew you just wanted to comment on the literally aspect of the poem, this is my mistake. I did try to do that towards the end of my post, but I’m a facts loving person and if matters that have an Islamic aspect, should be correct.
In Islam we are taught to be pro active, and when we see wrong we should try to do something about it, and that is one of the major wrongs these days, we see so much wrong yet we do nothing about it. Just look at this beautiful hadeeth of Rasulullah (May peace and blessings be upon him): “Anyone of you who sees wrong, let him undo it with his hand; and if he cannot, then let him speak against it with his tongue, and if he cannot do this either, then (let him abhor it) with his heart, and this is the least of faith.” [Muslim]
Noor-ul-Ain their actions do harm you and others in ways in which we do not understand. I will not go into here now but there are so many ahadeeth which tell us about the effects sins have on society, for example in one I remember it saying about when zina becomes rampant upon a people, Allah stamps poverty on them. My sins effect others in ways I cannot understand because these are matters of the spiritual realm.
Really liked what Hasnain Akram said, Masha-Allah.