A Shallow Life
Have you ever wondered what kind of lives we lead? If some one in the future were to look at our lives, what would they see? Would they see meaningless survival, of day to day struggles, of a blind walk up the ladder of success, for either fame or fortune without a grip or the truths of life that are? Do we ever question ourselves, our values and most of all, our knowledge.
Just how much is it that we know about the world and choose to know. As for me I definitely have moved from an intellectual struggle in my youth to the laziness of accepting the world as it is and becoming busy in creating my own little world. A world of family, and weekends and bills and holidays. A world where the struggles of others only needs a cursory glance, where the rituals of charity are used to nullify guilt for lack of action, proactive fight for rights of others is a waste of time chosen by those who have plenty thereof, and a world where time for books and newspapers is rare but for gossip a welcome relief.
Most of us don’t have time for books or writers or thinkers. And if and when we do acquire knowledge, we yearn for the opportunity to pass it on to all those who remain ignorant of the gems we now possess. The world is becoming a platform where we all struggle for power and knowledge without the support of wisdom or spirit. We lead meaningless existence where the questions of the ultimate and divine truths, Sufism and the soul are buried under matters of the heart and more often, woes of the pocket. We choose to be ignorant and shallow. I certainly do. There is a calmness that comes from not rising from the comforts of routine. There is a relief I experience when I switch the channel to avoid seeing yet another bleeding body, a wailing mother, a hungry child.
I never was like this before. I did wonder about life and death, until life came and bit me in the face. I did think about the issues that concern the world, about the pain that surrounds us all until it became too overwhelming for me to bear. I did read the books and ponder over their meanings until I lost myself in the struggle to make my life.
I was about seven when I was given Diwan-e-Ghalib, which I would actually read and try to understand. Now this has been overtaken. The only real questions I ask myself are those of morality, only as a resort to reiterate my own self righteousness and the wrong doings of others. The only literature I read comes in gossip columns or articles written by friends. The only real goal I have is to rush towards the weekend and spend that sleeping, chilling and/or socializing.
I wonder, am I too shallow or has the world become too dangerous to dwell in completely? It was so much easier to find meaning in life when life itself had little meaning, it was easier to dwell on the Truth when I had no fear of the truth. It was easier to strive for betterment of mankind when there was less bitterness and more hope inside me. Now all I find is that there is too much to tackle and too few can truly make a difference. I have been tempted by the joys of the world and therefore have immersed myself in the strive to have a better pay cheque, a cooler holiday, larger circle of friends and a lovelier home. I am now no longer what I had the potential to be. I am too shallow for this world. I have become a part of this world rather than the driver.
All I see and meet are those who are even worse off than I me. Their lives are governed by looking pretty, a show of wealth and power, of a false sense of superiority and an over indulgence in the superficial realms of the self. Where education, if it matters, is simply a matter of where you have studied rather than how you studied, its not how you drive your car but which car you drive, of men whose careers are focused only on making money and women who aim only to spend it, of a strive to be fashionable and a desire to be noticed and seen at all counts. In all my shallowness that makes my existence unworthy, I still remain a higher being than most around me. And therein lies my comfort, that drives me to take no action, to make no change. I am better than most. And in a world where a person as shallow as I is better than most says very little about the world we live in today.
I know what you mean – when you get into a routine, it’s so easy to immerse yourself into it and put all your principles, dreams and the willingness for introspection on the back burner.
Loved the brutal honesty. I would however disagree with you at some level. Who says striving to make a better home, or enjoying a cup of coffee is trivial or shallow. I think the essence of life lies not in the clap but the time it took for the two hands to meet. Ironically everything (including religions) speak of the clap, but not the act of the two hands cutting through air in beautiful synchronisation. The in-between times.
True, if we were in a situation where I was to choose between you and some social worker who was actually making a difference, I would probably choose the social worker. I am sure you would do the same if you were to choose between me and a social worker. For he influences more lives, but this does not mean that your life (and my life and of so many others like us) and the persuit of small “insignificant” things is wrong.
What’s important, for me at least, is the act of staying human, of keeping that sense alive that cries out at the sight of a dead body and collapses at the sight of a body waiting to die…for as long as this is alive we would keep figuring out ways to make small differences.
That was long!
But I am now a fan of your honest writing.
well written but i disagree with the way the article ended. i feel that we cant take the easy way out and say that i am better and others are worse off than me…
surely they are who they are because of who they were and who they are/were with? not everyone was given ghalibs book at the age of seven and so we are worse off cos atleast we were aware and we had opportunities.
infact i dont think i am better than others in any way. i feel i have shaken off more responsibility than others since i was somehow prepared, capable and equipped to take on more. therefore i had much more responsibility to create change than others.
i still do.
Marvellous writing and blatant truth. Now I shall assert my own authority and self-proclaimed wisdom!
Rumi says, the worker who works in the wee hrs of dawn is no better or worse than the social worker/sufi who works for the broader gain. Both serve a higher purpose, and both form the Divine face. Bestami once said, Subhani, Glory be to me. I interpret that as glory be to all humanity and God. We are inseparable and unchangeable. You and I shall die, but God will live on. I’m leaning a bit towards pantheism here, but All is from God and returns unto Him, rite? So who’s better or worse is for him to decide, not us. Sufis say we are all equal in His eye, since we all define His boundaries and works.
As far as life goes, pain is a part of life. And it’s to say that when I’m healthy and well-off and others are dying and in pain. But still, pain is a part of life. It will come, no matter what, in its own share. And somehow, there is a purpose behind that (which I fail to understand, if you want to probe into the minutest philosophicla details of this statement). However, all human life is geared towards evolution, or at least its purpose originally was. So said Rumi:
I died as a mineral and became a plant,
I died as plant and rose to animal,
I died as animal and I was Man.
Why should I fear? When was I less by dying? Yet once more I shall die as Man, to soar With angels blest;
but even from angelhood I must pass on:
all except God doth perish.
When I have sacrificed my angel-soul, I shall become what no mind e’er conceived.
Oh, let me not exist! for Non-existence Proclaims in organ tones,
‘To Him we shall return’
-Translated by A. J. Arberry
Hey really appreciate the honest goodness of your words
..keep writing..i know what you mean and i feel the same way many times..
Its so easy to just be and give in to the reality you talk about…but there is still in me a fighting spirit..to strive towards finding meaning, truth and purpose in life..its beauty and pain we experience and enjoy everyday..but its the soul’s struggle to find a higher ground and to be free.. is what keeps me alive
Please do not blame individual laziness on the design of the world. Nohing stops you from picking up Diwan e Ghalib again and calling up some friend to discuss. I believe that despite the automatonisit urban lifestyle, one can still find time to delve deeper into what the life is all about.
I must say that what I read here was pretty intriguing…and mind capturing…but writing as I see it, is not about fancy words…or metaphors…its more about capturing the mind of the reader…make them fall with the depths of your mind at real time…like you are right now…I am too welted to even find the name of the author who wrote such an essay above…but once I was done…all I felt was that the person was testing his ability to write rather then writing something which really had any meaning…your words are in a wrong direction…as its not life.. But time which has made you think so much over a mere idea anyone is familiar about like, as a new born baby…has no ego…no self esteem…and with time…it does not meet but exceed the ego targets…what you are expecting from life…is waiting right at the end for you…for now its the time.. Taking its toll…you… its a blind lady with a stone in her hand…at times all of us have to duck or stick up to it what’s really sad is.. people with such meaning to life…are still looking for it… its only when you see the grim realities..you realize…how much meaning your life has…for just by sitting and posting you notions…brings meaning to it…
whats with the question marks!
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very well-written. a bit harsh maybe but rings very true, you know what Bushra, be thankful that you can numb your finer senses and be of the crowd at least superficially even if deep down you feel you are not of them…living on the outskirts of this society, this world, which is what happens when you are unable to become one of the “pretty, shopping” crowd is as close to hell as one can get. You are practically isolated, a hermit in your cocoon…and sanity wont stand that for too long.