Comments on: The Higher God http://www.readitlive.com/2007/08/10/the-higher-god/ dedicated to promoting budding poets, writers and bloggers Thu, 02 Feb 2012 20:10:04 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.4 By: hera http://www.readitlive.com/2007/08/10/the-higher-god/comment-page-1/#comment-3671 hera Tue, 08 Jul 2008 17:19:25 +0000 http://www.readitlive.com/2007/08/10/the-higher-god/#comment-3671 Usman, This is amazing, especially when it picks up pace toward the end, like music itself. The rhythm is absolutely compelling. I would exlude the last line as it disrupts the flow. I love it. Usman,

This is amazing, especially when it picks up pace toward the end, like music itself. The rhythm is absolutely compelling.

I would exlude the last line as it disrupts the flow.

I love it.

]]> By: Sana Tanveer http://www.readitlive.com/2007/08/10/the-higher-god/comment-page-1/#comment-1387 Sana Tanveer Fri, 24 Aug 2007 18:59:35 +0000 http://www.readitlive.com/2007/08/10/the-higher-god/#comment-1387 what is up, ppl?? y no updates???? :( what is up, ppl?? y no updates???? :(

]]> By: Hasnain Akram http://www.readitlive.com/2007/08/10/the-higher-god/comment-page-1/#comment-1371 Hasnain Akram Fri, 10 Aug 2007 17:18:50 +0000 http://www.readitlive.com/2007/08/10/the-higher-god/#comment-1371 Beautiful...awesome imagery and ambience.... Beautiful…awesome imagery and ambience….

]]> By: Noor-ul-Ain http://www.readitlive.com/2007/08/10/the-higher-god/comment-page-1/#comment-1365 Noor-ul-Ain Fri, 10 Aug 2007 05:17:42 +0000 http://www.readitlive.com/2007/08/10/the-higher-god/#comment-1365 Beautiful! Absolutely brilliant. I am really happy with all the changes you've made. They add a lot to the poem. Since this is directed towards publishing and is not merely cathartic, I will suggest one thing. "Fragmented, decayed" in the beginning sounds a bit off. how about just fragmented? it conveys the msg, and more importantly, it shows a stark contrast between the fluidity of music and the longing's fragmentary nature. other than that, great show and like i said, can't say i've done better than that! Beautiful! Absolutely brilliant. I am really happy with all the changes you’ve made. They add a lot to the poem.

Since this is directed towards publishing and is not merely cathartic, I will suggest one thing. “Fragmented, decayed” in the beginning sounds a bit off. how about just fragmented? it conveys the msg, and more importantly, it shows a stark contrast between the fluidity of music and the longing’s fragmentary nature. other than that, great show and like i said, can’t say i’ve done better than that!

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