A Plea To A Tyrant
Dampened, broken and made again
Maybe this time you wont return
I search between a predefined whole
To soak my misery out of me
Maliciously
No longer am I knitting me complete
Interweaved hands, no longer complete
I twirl and twirl amidst a rain ridden sun again
Maliciously
Deafening whispers stealthily return
One half you were of me
I have forgotten, yes, to be whole
Whole,
You made me. No longer, no, I’m not complete
Those shunned opinions, now mock me
A fool I was, a fool I may be again
The moon darling would not return
Gone missing it has, maliciously
Why does it then hurt so maliciously?
Like a half rugged broken glass of a whole
Etched in my brain damned memories return
Their full walk upon the axis is complete
Envelope me in your cocoon again
My complete me
I just wanted you to hold me
But you dismissed me, disowned me, so maliciously
My serene slumber you shook so sluggishly again
Left me rotting, scattered, incompletely whole
You have smothered my existence, formerly complete
Cherished you were, and I still desire meekly, your return
Return
Me
Complete
Maliciously
Whole
Again
I again maliciously grasp a slippery thread oh come back, return
Wrong I may have been, but you, you completely eradicated me
For another night I head back home, when you might see the whole of me.
Like I have already told you, this is a very good sestina. Very coherent, which is hard to do with the sestina form. It is a hard form to work with and you have done a wonderful job. The one word lines were very clever. The way you have used ‘whole’ and ‘maliciously’ is very interesting. Great job. : ) I always feel like form restrains me and I cannot communicate as well as I would like to, but this, this is really well done. I would only rearrange a few lines or reword them so that the message is strong and clear.
I have no idea how poetry forms werk, which is why I’m not the best person to critique on them. However I like the strength of the poem despite the fact that the constant repetition creates vagueness in my mind. But like I said I cant judge forms so easily. So im not rating it.
I wish I could write a poem in some form this well
interesting choice of the six world, especially the different ways you’ve used ‘whole’ and ‘maliciously.’ I really like the variation in line length, especially at the end. Those six words followed by the three long lines.
My favourite line from the whole bit:
“No longer am I knitting me complete”
*bows* thank you thank you. you people are too kind. until another time then. Au revoir.
tch tch you’re not French, ma petite. Asher of golden hair and legendary burns will never find you, and J-C is “looped in the loops of [MY] hair,” so please, shall we cut the French?
over na ho!