A Waltz On A High
The cracks in the wall screamed again
The world frenzied with her punctuated sighs
Maybe another time she’ll live again
The ceiling opened up
Sucked her in with a single gulp
The cracks in the wall screamed again
Her eyes watched little black butterflies
Those damned moths hovering around
Maybe another time she’ll live again
She dances along the ridges of ice
Waltzing inside those closing walls
The cracks in the wall screamed again
Perhaps she was made of glass herself
She waltzed and waltzed and broke again
Maybe another time she’ll live again
The moths have enveloped her world in black
The ridges of ice are sharper now
The cracks in the walls screamed again
Maybe another time she’ll live again
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Categories: Poems
A very beautiful vilanelle!
your choice of words has always amazed me. you are very talented and you should write more.
i have issues with one line:
“The moths have enveloped her world in black”
this doesn’t flow very well at all. try:
the moths have COVERED her world in black
the moths have SWIRLED her word in black
max. a 2 syllable word. enveloped does not fit the flow.
for more practice with the flow, try writing a vilanelle with 9-10 syllables in each line. I did that. it’s challenging, but not impossible, and you can do it.
thankeroozz…:D:D:D
Tis beautiful. The flow thingy didnt bother me fer some reason, but then again, I didnt know it was called a vilanelle either.
“Perhaps she was made of glass herself
She waltzed and waltzed and broke again”
Oh, lovely! Ice princess image!
9/10
whats funny is…that im called an ice queen…:D thank you..:D i appreciate the comments.