Comments on: Fear http://www.readitlive.com/2007/04/27/fear/ dedicated to promoting budding poets, writers and bloggers Thu, 02 Feb 2012 20:10:04 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.4 By: Mahey http://www.readitlive.com/2007/04/27/fear/comment-page-1/#comment-525 Mahey Sat, 02 Jun 2007 15:25:20 +0000 http://www.readitlive.com/2007/04/27/fear/#comment-525 and yeah...i know its about vampires and all...why dont you put in something about the dying warmth and all...my brain never works...but im sure you can make out what im trying to say. and yeah…i know its about vampires and all…why dont you put in something about the dying warmth and all…my brain never works…but im sure you can make out what im trying to say.

]]> By: Mahey http://www.readitlive.com/2007/04/27/fear/comment-page-1/#comment-524 Mahey Sat, 02 Jun 2007 15:23:18 +0000 http://www.readitlive.com/2007/04/27/fear/#comment-524 Hmm..its good...the ending needs more impact...kickass nonetheless. Hmm..its good…the ending needs more impact…kickass nonetheless.

]]> By: Saadia http://www.readitlive.com/2007/04/27/fear/comment-page-1/#comment-456 Saadia Tue, 22 May 2007 04:41:30 +0000 http://www.readitlive.com/2007/04/27/fear/#comment-456 uffffffffff. OUCHHH!!!! uffffffffff. OUCHHH!!!!

]]> By: Noor-ul-Ain http://www.readitlive.com/2007/04/27/fear/comment-page-1/#comment-337 Noor-ul-Ain Tue, 01 May 2007 01:52:28 +0000 http://www.readitlive.com/2007/04/27/fear/#comment-337 aye haye it's not THAT sad. but thank you for your comments. : ) aye haye it’s not THAT sad. but thank you for your comments. : )

]]> By: Qurat http://www.readitlive.com/2007/04/27/fear/comment-page-1/#comment-335 Qurat Mon, 30 Apr 2007 14:28:09 +0000 http://www.readitlive.com/2007/04/27/fear/#comment-335 Beautiful! I agree with Sidra. It does leave you with a sad feeling. :( I simply love the end... very well done! 'And I watch the last ember So I don't have to See his eyes, Because I'm afraid of what is in them.' Beautiful!
I agree with Sidra. It does leave you with a sad feeling. :(
I simply love the end… very well done!

‘And I watch the last ember
So I don’t have to
See his eyes,
Because
I’m afraid of what is in them.’

]]> By: usmantm http://www.readitlive.com/2007/04/27/fear/comment-page-1/#comment-319 usmantm Fri, 27 Apr 2007 20:21:57 +0000 http://www.readitlive.com/2007/04/27/fear/#comment-319 Good work. I love the idea of words and flames intertwined togethe like mating serpents. beautiful lines here: "His words leap like flames, Hover over my silent lips, Dance around My dulled senses.' Gorgeous! However, I feel this poem lacks the power, the impact of your other works. I thought smoldering fire and embers was a bit cliched. But I LOVE the query at the end, the dangling edge of a dying thread... 8/10 Good work. I love the idea of words and flames intertwined togethe like mating serpents. beautiful lines here:

“His words leap like flames,
Hover over my silent lips,
Dance around
My dulled senses.’

Gorgeous!

However, I feel this poem lacks the power, the impact of your other works. I thought smoldering fire and embers was a bit cliched. But I LOVE the query at the end, the dangling edge of a dying thread…

8/10

]]> By: Sidra Nadeem http://www.readitlive.com/2007/04/27/fear/comment-page-1/#comment-315 Sidra Nadeem Fri, 27 Apr 2007 18:11:30 +0000 http://www.readitlive.com/2007/04/27/fear/#comment-315 Beautiful illiteration: Fierce, fiery flecks Float in the air. I really liked this part: I look at him With empty eyes And hold his words Gingerly As though they are Holy water Instead of wild flames. I really feel the fear and caution in the poem and for some reason it kinda makes me want to cry :( Beautiful illiteration:

Fierce, fiery flecks
Float in the air.

I really liked this part:

I look at him
With empty eyes
And hold his words
Gingerly
As though they are
Holy water
Instead of wild flames.

I really feel the fear and caution in the poem and for some reason it kinda makes me want to cry :(

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