Goodbye
Goodbye
A few times a year
I cry a thousand tears,
Remembering all those
I left behind
Four winters ago
On a cold, wet day
Many oceans away.
A few times a year
I sob into my pillow,
Remembering a mother
Who wept behind her shawl,
Packing once, packing twice,
Holding my cold hands in hers,
Hugging me close,
Her heart breaking silently
Inside her chest,
Unable to say goodbye.
A few times a year
I cry under the covers,
Remembering a father
Who stood at the airport
With large tears teetering
At the edge of his eyes,
The weight of eighteen years of love
Contained in two brown pools
Melting, melting, melting
His composure,
Kissing me once, kissing me twice,
Looking at me,
Turning away,
Looking again,
Unable to say goodbye.
A few times a year
I lock the world out,
Remembering two sisters
Holding hands,
Making promises,
Weaving hopes,
A million questions in their eyes,
Stopping me once, stopping me twice,
Then making words with their tears
And putting them into poems,
Unable to say goodbye.
A few times a year
I cry my heart out,
Remembering a brother,
His tiny hands
Around my face,
His brave brown eyes
Looking at me,
Memorizing me,
Little lumps in his throat
Forming once, forming twice,
A small soldier
Trying to hold his fort
While clinging to me
One last time,
Unable to say goodbye.
A few times a year
I cry a thousand tears,
Remembering all those
I left behind
Four winters ago
On a cold, wet day
Many oceans away.
The quality of prose at readitlive just keeps getting better and better.
Thank you for contributing this poem. I can relate to it in a 1000 different ways.
You have written something I have been meaning to write for a long time.
The refrains here do wonders! This is such a strong piece, it nearly moved me to tears. I’ve always had a soft spot for poems with rhyme and repetition. Wonderful work girl! Keep it up!
You are talented. Keep at it.
Suggestion: Some of the lines u wrote are what one might call necessary cliches. They have been written and re-written a lot. If u cud, try turning them around.
Very moving. However, I think the flow could’ve been smoother, but the overall effect is powerful.
The ending didn’t really sit too well with me though, it seemed a bit coerced; I understand the effect you were going for, and it was executed fairly well, but maybe it’s just a matter of personal preference.
Write more!
shukriya people!
About the cliches and other similar mechanical difficulties within the poem, I NEVER go back to my poems to correct or improve them. I am trying to overcome this weakness. Thanks for commenting.
hi
can i join u? i delighted to see my name i like ur poem its amazing! bye
heyy…i jsut read dis poem after re-readin a post i wrote for my mom recently…lik u, im gonna leave my family n move to another place sometime tpp…i cud TOTALLY relate to dis…this piece moved me to tears! great work..
on a more critical level, i just had the feeling that the flow cud b smoother. A thing or 2 seemed forced to me…but it can b just me…since im not very good wid poetry..hehe…for example, i felt that this seemed to hinder the flow a bit…i dunno…ur the best one to judge wat u think of ur own work:
Then making words with their tears
And putting them into poems,
Unable to say goodbye.
otherwise, a really touching moving piece! loved it!