A Tribute to Suitors Part One
Amidst high mountains,
in a tower perched on its peak,
lived a fair maiden.
For ever and more she was guarded by the archons,
that waited for a suitor worthy and wise.
For many a year came both warrior and knight,
to win the hand of the maiden
in a battle heroic, just and honorable.
Yet none met the Archons scale
and one by one they all fell,
battered, bruised and impaled.
The Maiden, tired and wary of her exile
then beseeched her caretakers, “Set me free!”, she cried
“I will make my mark and find on my own, my man to be!”
Angered and Enraged,
the archons discussed, debated and pondered
the maiden’s fate,
they coaxed, admonished, even pleaded
but the Maiden’s will: steel like, unforgiving,
forged in the seething cauldrons of her desolation
would not yield.
And so with a heavy heart,
amidst a thousand tears
the archons entrusted their delicate
flower to the world
and awaited, patiently, for her return
I like the story embedded within and I love some of the archaic words and phrases used. However I did think some of it might have been a tad pale?
It reads precisely like a tale of yorewhich is fine usually, but here seems a lil out of place… especially because you end it abruptly?
Some grammar issues need dealing with, but good show overall.
If you don’t mind, I’ll rate it?
7/10
Finally, I got a comment. Thanks for the feedback I appreciate it.
I was working on part 2. It is done half way but unfortunately I lost the inspiration. As soon as it comes back I will work on it again
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